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Over the last weekend the extended family of the Karate Dojo where I teach and work out lost a great soul and a caring spirit. His loss has been hard to take, not just for myself, but my family, my friends and all that knew him. We've pulled together to put this into perspective and to help each other where we can.
However, I wanted to remember the great things about Jared and share some of those with you so that you would know how much I respected and felt honored that part of my life got to have him in it, even though it was for a shorter time that I wanted.
Let me begin by saying that this was an extraordinary gentleman, gifted, happy, able to enjoy life in a way that many of us older people have forgotten. Always smiling, laughing, having a good time...
He impacted many people this way. Maybe, in the end, living a happy, honoring and grateful life is the best gift that Jared gave us.
Jared grew up in our Dojo and was there for such a long time that it's hard not to see his smiling face or hear the cheers as he scored wins in tournaments or practice. I think he was somewhere around 5 when he joined and he was 22 when he left us. I don't think my daughters can remember a time that Jared wasn't there.
He was full of life, a pit of a prankster at times, a mentor to those that he helped both at the Dojo and at camp every summer. Even though at times he seemed larger than life, he never struck me as arrogant, selfish or felt he was better than anyone else. In fact, it was the opposite. Case in point...
My daughter is preparing for her next black belt test. It's a hard test to pass and takes exceptional effort and focus to be at the level that is required. These belts are not easily earned; they are only awarded with hard work, sweat, dedication and long hours. Jared was already a 3rd degree when he stepped up as a volunteer to assist my daughter as her partner for her next black belt test. Such was the unselfish nature of this extraordinary man. It meant that he would have to repeat most of the test again, but this time help train my daughter to get to the level he felt was needed. For those not in this style of karate, this is a decision not made lightly due to the hours required and the effort needed. However, that is the nature not just of Jared, but the close knit community of where we train. Karate West is not so much about karate as it is about community, respect, honor, value and helping our friends. Jared learned and exemplified those values and passed them on to others.
Sometimes I look back on my life and realize how important my decisions were at the beginning. I didn't have role models growing up like Jared, but my younger daughter did. I know that he made a positive difference in her life going forward. Something that I will value for the rest of my life. I've said it before and I'll say it again here, he was a person that any father would have been proud to have called a son. It was an honor to have known him and my life as well as my daughters and others have been enriched for those reasons.
We will say good-bye to Jared on Friday, but his passing will not end what he brought to us all. What will I do going forward? I will remember all the great things about Jared, what he did for my daughter, what he exemplified for those that looked up to him and I will aspire to be a better person because of him.
I was trying to find a way to express words of support to his family, but they did not come easily. I do, however, cherish a letter from Abraham Lincoln written in November of 1864 to Lydia Bixby in Boston. Although Mr. Lincoln wrote about the civil war, what he wrote has always stuck with me and so I have shamelessly taken that letter and rewrote it...
Dear Thomas Family,
I learned on Sunday of the sudden passing of Jared on Saturday night. I had spoken to him just that morning since he had come in to help prepare some of our students for a tournament this coming weekend. Such was the measure of a man that sacrificed his weekends and evenings to help others become better at something they loved and that he excelled at such a high level. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the entire dojo that came to respect, honor and value him. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have had a son so loved and cared for by so many.
Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,
Steve Champion
To learn more about Jared, please visit the facebook page dedicated to his memory.
Thanks!
Comments
Posted On
May 13, 2010Posted By
I will miss him so much.....
T
Posted On
May 13, 2010Posted By
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